oh...herro

[ME]
Shit, there is Christmas in concentrated form all over the fucking stage.

[JESS]
I have Christmas in concentrated form in my pants.

Christmas Carol has officially consumed my life. I have 2 papers, lines, a scene and a test to ace before the semester ends. I am tired. I hate boys. I hate girls. But I love being on headset.

Without further ado, quotes via Christmas Carol....

"Look at the transition! That is sex on a stick!" -Bradley
"You would look like an angel, if an angel went to a Fezziwig party." "Oh, god!" -Matt and Jon.
"OH MY GOD HE'S ON WHEELS!" -Jon
"Oh shit, I just dropped a needle." -Stokely
"Hey sexy, if you ever want to talk, just call me." -12 year old to me.
"They ran out of candles! FUCK YEAH!!!!" -Neil
"Hey man, wanna smoke? I got some great shit" -Neil (in his Ghost of Christmas Present outfit, which makes him look like a Big Lebowski/Wiseman combo)

July - Shakespeare on the Square and Rabbit Hole
August / September- The Diary of Anne Frank
October - The Flu Season and Rocky Horror Picture Show

I have a three week break from now until Nov. 16, when I go to Christmas Carol tech. I'm going to make this break count and just relax.

CLASSES FOR SPRINGTIME
Theatre 430 - Directing
Theatre 321 - Advanced Acting
English 364 - Writing Fiction
History 241 - Development of Western Civilization

I couldn't get into Film and American Culture (English 334), but I'm still showing up to the first class because my friend Clint told me a bunch of people drop anyway. And I'm going to do independent study classes with the Lighting crew and the Sound Designer so I can work on professional shows and hopefully get a good internship in the summer.

My birthday is in two months. It's really fucking crazy that I'm going to be 21. My friend Kathryn turned 21 on Saturday and she got really badly drunk to the point where it was just scary. I'm going to not let that happen.

I dropped my History 242 class mainly because my teacher was such a bitch, she made my learning experience 10x worse.

My head hurts and my first class isn't until noon tomorrow. And we're reading "Death of a Salesman." Booooring.

i turn 21 in exactly 75 days.

i was afraid that since this was the aniversary of fabio's death, that i would completely withdrawn and sullen, especially after getting rejected from TTA's. i was tired and unhappy for most of the day and then i went to the green room at CBT to have a few hours alone.

best decision of the day because natascha and the costume shop came up to take pictures for the Knoxville News-Sentinel for the upcoming costume auction. i got to dress up in a snow white costume, natascha in a renaissance gown, heather in a 40s outfit, and kyle in the ham costume for "to kill a mockingbird". i laughed and smiled, talking like snow white and making silly poses.

sigh, i have tech tonight and i'm operating on 4 hours of sleep...let's go tasty lean cuisine dinner.

xx.

english....pretty simple. we read plays then discuss them. we've done Oedipus Rex, Lysistrata (love), The Country Wife and now A Streetcar Named Desire.

computer science...while the professor drones about how to use a google search engine, i sit in the back and do a shit ton of sudokus.

history...would be interesting if the teacher wasn't boring/a bitch. hopefully reading and discussing The Communist Manifesto will change my mind.

lighting design...my class is the shit. i love this class so much. i'm either doing Rammstein's "Seeman" or Daft Punk's "Around the World" for my lighting project. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

play analysis...i love kate buckley. i love my class. it's a lot of hard work, but i'm enjoying it.

acting...

Sherwood from "Fame" is my teacher....enough said. Carol Mayo-Jenkins is fucking amazing. she is my coach for SETC (southeastern theatre conference). she's leaving halfway through the semester to do a show in Asheville, so David Kortimeier, who's playing Don Quixote in the spring is teaching us. oh hell yes.


the new acting grad students are really nice. i've only met 3 so far but i like them a lot.


i'm also teching Christmas Carol and Flu Season.


and i'm considering doing tech work as a career. or doing art direction / cinematography. i don't know yet. acting has kind of lost its luster for me.

i am currently in a love/hate realtionship with teching a show.

i work with incredible people.
gaining a crapload of weight for fresh market's lemon squares.
silly things said over headset.
being tired and antisocial when i get back home.

i'm proabably working with the grad students again ofr "flu season"....i'm praying that i get in Christmas Carol.

working on my monologue with my former stage mananging roommate > all other homework.

GODDAMNIT I NEED TO BUY SOME GROCERIES MY FRIDGE IS EMPTY AND IT FREEZES EVERYTHING ANYWAYS.

fuck.

i worked for 8 hours loading/unloading set pieces, putting everything together, painting the set, trying to avoid sparks and screws. but it paid off and the set looked great. i still can't believe that really fancy boutique let us wash our brushes and shit in their store.

my outbox is filled with text messages that are all jumbled like "IN bsw esod". but i wasn't drunk.

but i light off fireworks last night which was fun.

What is going on right now...

~ "Shakespeare on the Square" tech work
~ "Rabbit Hole" tech work
~ Anthropology
~ Sociology
~ "The Diary of Anne Frank" starting in August
~ Lying in bed
~ Walking around

July is either going to suck or be awesome.

THE WAILERS TOMORROW. SO EXCITED.


sundown in the city has saved me from dying of boredom in knoxville.

trying to learn how to draw on myself instead of hurting myself when i'm alone and sad.


i just wish sometimes he would call me and actually give a fuck about our relationship.



people here suck plain and simple. even my friends.

i hate morning classes. in the summer. that require math.

groan

my summer has consisted of me going to classes, lying around, drinking and walking around.

sigh, i'm tired of being backstabbed by people who i consider friends.

anyways, i got precast for "the diary of anne frank" as miep...so, go me.

finally, because i have nothing else to say:

MWF
HIS 242 Development of Western Civilization, 1500-present
ENG 252 Introduction to Drama
THE 320 Advanced Acting 1

TR
THE 300 Play Analysis
THE 262 Fundamentals of Lighting Design

i remember back last year how i thought i was both in love with Isaias and Marlon.

okay, honestly i was going to write a long entry about how i realized that i was fooling myself but i'm going to make it blunt now.

the only thing i loved from them was SEX. i never had an oppurtunity to fully talk to them or understand them, which resulted in sex and no talk, leading to bad breakups.

i am in love with james. this time i am not bullshitting.

done with my sophmore year of college.

wait, what the fuck? where did the time go and how did i get to this part?

it seemed like months ago i was being dropped off in front of the sorority building by my parents, starting my freshman year without no one knowing me. now i'm a fucking JUNIOR sitting in my apartment friends calling and texting every fucking hour of the day.

weird. i don't even remember HS anymore. good.

Single once again.

i’ve decided to write again. but instead of going on livejournal just to forget what the hell i’m talking about, it’s the best decision to just open up a page in Pages so i can keep track of my thoughts.

what is new? i have a boyfriend, who is absolutely wonderful and supportive of me. i’ve been cast in an independent film and ACT’s “A Streetcar Named Desire.” i’ve been keeping busy with working in the scene shop, helping build the sets for most of the spring semester shows. so to say that i’m busy is a fucking understatement.

tony mentioned in his entry (i’m such a creeper) about how his mom is finally letting go. i’m realizing that my parents have pretty much let me go free after i got my acceptance letter to UT. i guess living for the majority of the year without mentally breaking down AND finally taking care of myself proved them that i was ready.

because years later, something that i thought would never happen, just happened a few days ago...

i signed a sublet on my first apartment in Knoxville.

this is exciting. scary. a huge step / leap of faith. i’m going to be working, going to school and living in Knoxville, TN...a far cry from living in Raynham where i thought i would end up living forever if i didn’t get my high school shit together.

fucking yikes.

Knoxville is such an underrated city. yeah, it’s tiny and not as big as Nashville or Memphis but it reminds me a lot of old New Bedford, especially all the old mills / buildings. i love the organic-ness that surrounds Knox. and there are so many hidden secrets and surprises that get me giddy (like the HUMONGOUS turnout for the Misfits concert in december). i wish i could go into gatlinburg though.

i would write more but i’m getting too giddy from the combo of Bud Light/Camels/garbage/Jim being giddy.

this is my boyfriend. i realized after watching this that denis leary = jim.

looks, smoking, drinking and swearing like a sailors.



god i love both men.

i want it to be spring break.

I HAVE PINKEYE GODDAMNIT ARRRGH.

there hasn't been a lot to write about since valentine's day.....


hmm, maybe because there has been nothing?


lately, the past couple of weeks, i've spent my time with Jim and in the theatre.


i also figured something out: while peeing the reason why i feel so full of pressure is not from feeling horny, but from just me drinking and trying to avoid breaking the seal.


learn something new every day.

valentine's day.


i'm doing the same shit i do with jim almost everyday: beer, tv, sex and sleep.


cheap and romantic. that's how we roll.






ps. DON'T WATCH BLACK X-MAS.....STUPID STUPID STUPID. srsly, i almost died laughing because quinn was making such evil remarks.